What's a girl to do?

Progress

2009-10-24T05:47:00.000-07:00

Prokofiev Van Zweden

Last night, my sister Judy and I enjoyed Prokofiev's Romeo and Juliet with Jaap van Zweden and the Dallas Symphony Orchestra. I've always liked this composer, especially as a child: Peter and the Wolf was my introduction to the instruments of the orchestra. After the fabulous performance, we got to meet Jaap in person and thank him for his commitment to stay with us in Dallas for another five years. He's an incredible conductor!

A dear friend is going through the final stages of the divorce process. And it sucks. It just does. But time can heal. Just for a laugh consider: My divorce papers arrived in the mail on Valentine's Day when my son was a year and a half old. I can laugh now, but at the time I just drank.

And now, decades later, I've got enough perspective to see that what at the time was the worst thing that had ever happened to me, became a catalyst that (18 months later) moved me into a new and much better, saner life. I was eventually able to face my drinking problem and start to get some help for my son and myself.

Since June, I've been committed to tackling another problem: lack of activity / weight. I am loving hot yoga, climbing stairs and hiking at the lake, and maintaining a pretty steady relationship with Jenny Craig. The result is 30 lbs later I've lost 26.5 inches! So it's possible that this "too too solid flesh would melt."

The phrase that keeps popping into my head this week..."Don't quit before the miracle happens!" and it happens every day...

Peace, love and Prokofiev!

Dawn speaks to me

2009-09-08T18:00:00.000-07:00

Slowly the pink pushes up and out

Like a flower starting to unfold

The blue sky scoots over and welcomes

Another beautiful morning

2009-08-30T18:51:00.000-07:00

great honking flowers

Robert Kushner

wow i love red!

loved

2009-08-26T04:09:00.000-07:00

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

opening my mind to the sacrifices made that we might flourish
thank you god for your loving care

may i remember today that i am not alone

my mom saw things in the clouds too-

2009-08-09T16:56:00.000-07:00

I guess it runs in the family

Not crazy, really I'm not

The cloud looks to me--

Like the man from Galilee

Mad about this guy

2009-08-02T09:57:00.000-07:00

in need of guidance

2009-08-01T06:19:00.000-07:00

Open my eyes, that I may see

glimpses of truth thou hast for me;

place in my hands the wonderful key

that shall unclasp and set me free.

Silently now I wait for thee,

ready, my God, thy will to see.

Open my eyes, illumine me, Spirit divine!

Open my ears, that I may hear

voices of truth thou sendest clear;

and while the wavenotes fall on my ear,

everything false will disappear.

Silently now I wait for thee,

ready, my God, thy will to see.

Open my ears, illumine me, Spirit divine!

Open my mouth, and let me bear

gladly the warm truth everywhere;

open my heart and let me prepare

love with thy children thus to share.

Silently now I wait for thee,

ready, my God, thy will to see.

Open my heart, illumine me, Spirit divine!

~~~ Clara H. Scott

The river of God is full of water

2009-07-31T08:17:00.001-07:00

swan
Originally uploaded by jdidear

You visit the earth and water it, You greatly enrich it; The river of God is full of water; You provide their grain, For so You have prepared it.
You water its ridges abundantly, You settle its furrows; You make it soft with showers, You bless its growth.

You crown the year with Your goodness, And Your paths drip with abundance.

2009-07-30T04:29:00.000-07:00

Trees make me happy

I love the sky and the clouds

I love looking at water

But trees bridge the gap between heaven and earth

Their arms and fingers reaching up

Their toes digging down deeper and deeper

I want to climb trees and rest in them

Lounge on a limb

I love trees

With apologies to Sir Mix-A-Lot

2009-07-22T21:05:00.001-07:00

I like long legs and I can not lie

You other sisters can't deny

That when a guy walks in with long lean legs

And shoulders like he could fly

Your heart pumps

Wanna slip up close in front

Cuz you notice that

There's something jacked

Bout the feathers he's wearing

I'm hooked and I can't stop staring

Oh, baby I wanna get with ya

And take your picture

each sunrise holds promise

2009-07-14T20:26:00.000-07:00

my life has changed

each sunrise holds promise

sharing my thoughts and prayers with another, listening to his

has opened my heart

the lord has given me more happiness than i thought possible

and still it comes

aging beautifully

2009-07-03T11:27:00.000-07:00

Like a lovely magnolia bloom gracefully aging so hope I to unfold gently into my next stage of life. After a month of careful health management and a week of daily hot yoga, I have lost weight, 12" of fat, and tight / stiffness. In turn, I've gained mobility, positive thinking and more excitement in life! The amazing changes in my body as I become more limber and aligned bring a smile to my face as I think on it. What a blessing to me- one that I feel I will continue.

the lotus opens

2009-06-28T17:17:00.000-07:00

Sumer vacation began Friday, and for a while, I'm treating myself to a stay-cation. Do it yourself yoga boot camp, with 90 minutes of hot yoga daily. Daily prayer and meditation. Reading, writing, and a moderate amount of shopping.

Now for my evening bike ride... God is great, life is good.

the guys

2009-06-19T17:56:00.000-07:00

The OBF and his dog Mozart

Not sure what the statistical odds are for reconnecting with an old love and rekindling the same intensity of feelings as before...

but so far, I am quite swept off my feet!

Taking it, as all things, one day at a time, with the exception of making plans to see him again. When you live five hours away, you have to lay things out in advance...

Old Mossy

2009-06-14T07:51:00.000-07:00

My high school sweetheart lives in a lovely small town in Kansas. This week I visited him there and met these woods near Elk City Lake.

Mossy tree

Got my green stockings on

Patient

Waiting

Reaching out in the quiet morning

25 or 6 to 4

2009-06-09T19:18:00.001-07:00

the party was over time to go home

i jumped in my car and cruised down the access road

windows down, blaring jeff buckley

"don't fool yourself, she was heartache from the moment that you met her"

came to a stop at the light, and out from the underpass he ambled

dirty white t shirt declaring "happiness is GOD"

styrofoam cup in his left hand, he reached out with it

shook it gently as he approached

i waited; not wanting to be the first to speak

he didn't either it seemed

but he moved closer so i stopped him with words

"i'm sorry, i don't have any money"

he held his stance with the cup out and straightfaced it:

"do you have the time?"

Words of love

2009-06-09T04:28:00.000-07:00

Words of love, soft and tender won't win a girl's heart anymore

If you love her than you must send her somewhere she's never been before

(the mamas and the papas)

abounding in love

2009-05-31T05:38:00.000-07:00

The lord, the lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands

2009-05-28T20:22:00.001-07:00

breathe life breathe love breathe peace

2009-05-19T20:53:00.000-07:00

For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone

The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come,

and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land

portrait of a young man as decor

2009-05-15T23:30:00.000-07:00

My son has always been creative. He sings, he writes, he waxes philosophical.

When he was 6, he decided to become a christmas tree ornament.

stones on water

2009-05-11T21:19:00.000-07:00

water calms me, soothes me, creates a tempo

that fills my soul

lapping of gentle waves at the edge of the sand

no motion like the ocean

to make me smile

Happy Mothers Day

2009-05-11T05:03:00.000-07:00

Since my own mom passed away, as Mothers Day approaches I go through mixed feelings of sadness, loss, gratitude and hopefulness.

This year was no exception. I miss my mama, and altho it was definitely time for her to go, she was the leader of our brood. What brings me back to lightness is my own son- his gifts are many, and he's a wonderful young man.

For all who have lost their mothers, I wish you good memories and an easing to sadness. Since my own son lives far away, I shared the day with my sisters. We had a lovely day strolling in the Arboretum, eating lunch at the Taj Mahal, and shopping.

Around the corner

2009-05-05T20:08:00.000-07:00

It's a Gift

2009-05-05T05:27:00.000-07:00

Wake up and reach for the sky

Bend down to smell a bloom

At dusk say thanks

It's all a gift

Magnetic fields

2009-05-04T04:52:00.000-07:00

How strange it is that after all these years the sound of a voice makes my heart leap

Then remembering it’s not up to me, that because I put my life in his hands, to keep

On a cold day in February of 1987

I have only to trust that I will see what I need to see Know what I need to know

And receive an intuitive thought for action or just to keep still

................He’s always good to me

North Shore

2009-05-01T19:36:00.000-07:00

This has been a week of amazing thickness. A flurry of activity from the moment I wake up till laying my head down on the pillow, I've barely had time to breathe. Besides exciting partnership activities for the schools and students, prepping for a new school dedication and a few first time special events near on the event horizon.

All that makes this a good time to look at some photos from a March trip to Hawaii, breathe deeply, and listen to a little ukulele music, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow."

Oahu is a beautiful island, and it is wonderfully relaxing to remember it in my mind's eye.

Haiku for death of appliance

2009-04-26T15:04:00.000-07:00

Rattle screech in ears
Electric box chills no more
Frigidaire or truth

Life in the 80s

2009-04-23T22:17:00.000-07:00

In the late '70s and early '80s, I was running a little bar called the Lakewood Yacht Club, and performing with a comedy group called Random Scam.

The guys told me I needed some new portfolio shots, so I hollered at an old friend from OU who was shooting football games for Sports Illustrated.

He came and shot a few rolls and came back a week later with wonderful prints. Lord knows what I've done with our group shots... We had recorded a 45 record - a parody of the Village People called the Village Apartment People, "It's fun to live on Northwest Highway" and we had several off and on gigs around town.

Makes me smile to look back on those days - moderately sane, still kickin'.

The smiling continues

2009-04-21T18:32:00.000-07:00

I come from hopeful stock.

Not that we were prideful, so to speak, but we tended to expect things to turn out okay even if the immediate result wasn't necessarily what we had planned. I always had the feeling that though I didn't like what was happenig this minute, it would get better at some point.

And it has. It has.

Knock on wood.

Life in a bag

2009-04-20T23:18:00.000-07:00

Does someone in your family keep everything? And are you lucky enough to have someone else in your family who sorts it all and parcels it out? Because of two of these great sisters, I have a chance to re-live some special moments from my past, documented in letters and artwork I sent and they kept safe and preserved for me --- in a bag.

Programs from high school plays, community theater performances, cross gender ballets (yes I once took the role of a boy: Fritz in the Nutcracker). Then later, notes and letters documenting my marriage and divorce.

Wow.

Here's the lot of us circa 1959 in Lawton - JC and Vandalia and their five great girls.

Arboretum is my church today

2009-04-19T13:20:00.000-07:00

Spent the day at the Dallas Arboretum with three of my sisters, and hundreds of other people strolling, watching for bunnies and blooms, smiling at each other--- speaking for everyone, we had a great time.

The weather is just a bit cool but lots of good sunshine, plenty of flowering plants and rose bushes. Special faves: delphineums, violas, peonies and azaleas. Rose bushes were so fragrant it was breathing in heaven.

Here's one sweetgum tree in the sunshine.

Seniors 2009

2009-04-17T19:14:00.000-07:00

I’ve spent the past two weeks serving on three scholarship committees and it’s been a great experience. How happy I feel about our future!

The young people I’ve met these past few days are remarkable. Graduating seniors who have already accomplished so much, we got to meet them in person and hear about their lives and dreams.

Balanced, articulate and passionate about their options and goals, they shared hope and commitment to giving college their very best. I don’t know if my own generation was as calmly confident although I know we were as eager.

Another thing that they all shared in common: the acknowledgment of emotional support they gave to their parents. Whether it was one-parent family or two, young or older parents, varying levels of education, these parents were all exclaimed roundly as the primary role models of these scholarship winners.

My congratulations to the 2009 grads, in Dallas and around the nation!

flash from the past

2009-04-15T20:36:00.000-07:00

Struggled with internet access at home part of the month; very hard to try to get all net stuff accomplished at work, but mother nature had wrecked havok in my neighborhood.

A series of interesting things occurred.

1) I got some housework done (I am NOT domestic so this is always a challenge for me).

2) Finally broke down and bought a new laptop - great little MacBook, I love it!

3) Since I'm not using a work computer at home now, been a bit more adventuresome with blogs, photos and web searches.

4) Stumbled across the first love of life, Jim - who is now James - living in an adjacent state. We were madly in love in junior-senior years of high school then suffered separation issues after graduation that we tried but never could overcome.

Long story short, still singing and playing guitar and writing GREAT songs, not doing for a living but since he has other means of support, he just keeps creating. He seems happy and it's so neat to be getting reacquainted. I've found myself looking forward to his emails and calls over the past week, and we've made plans to get together for dinner- in person - next month.

Smiling as I write this.

Long day

2009-04-14T20:56:00.000-07:00

Writing, calling, quick thinking and asking for favors took up most of the day.

Projects of varied interests kept me busy:

baseball -- a new urban league / clinics for third and fourth grade kids at six schools
signing day -- for graduating seniors going to top colleges, earning lots of scholarships
focus group planning -- for a group of schools
new school dedication -- arts magnet, a really cool school
classroom makeover project; library makeover project
little kids rock guitar and keyboard program

And that's just the tip of the work iceberg. I like the challenges that come, but sometimes they come all at once! Never a dull moment in the communications world.